Striking

The other day at work I saw a child running around the theatre wearing a propeller hat.  Those things exist???  I’ve only seen them in cartoons or at a costume shop!  It spun around when he ran and everything.  All he needed was one of those giant rainbow lolly pops.

The Reese’s Pieces boxes always have a little tab for simple re-sealing, right?  Well, that’s just dandy and fine… IF IT DIDN’T INEVITABLY RIP EVERY TIME YOU OPEN IT!  

USELESS…  :)   <3

p.s. That’s okay though because I never take more than one sitting to eat them all.

(this is a story I started writing at work based on a drawing that i drew at work.  it’s very absurd, but i was very bored.  more to come!)

There once was a cannibal who disgraced his tribe and was banished to the outskirts of the jungle.  With nothing to do but wander the hostile wilderness, the outcast soon ventured further than anyone he knew ever had.  It just so happened that the trees in this particular part of the jungle were greedy.  Rather than emitting the oxygen vital to the cannibal’s respiratory system, they kept it for themselves and developed not only lungs, but fully functioning brains and nervous systems.  Of course the cannibal only maintained consciousness for a few moments and then quickly turned a pale shade of blue.

Greedy as they were, the trees were not without compassion.  “How awful it must be” they thought amongst themselves “for this poor creature to be all alone and scared in the wilderness with no friends or oxygen.”  They confronted the elders who, after several drawn out moments, decided they would help the cannibal.

“We will not give him any of our precious oxygen” they exclaimed with great sternness.  “However, we will do the next best thing.  Take him to…  THE MACHINE!”  The surrounding trees fell silent and a tension washed over them with the intensity of an adorable mouse trying to free himself from a glue trap without ripping off any of his skin.  “But your wiseness,” one of the more respected members of the clan interjected.  “The last organism to endure the machine emerged in a thousand pieces.  And he was fully conscious and healthy.  Surely you don’t expect this decrepit thing to…”

“ENOUGH!” cried the wisest elder.  “It is not in the interest of the elders to maintain the contained structure of lesser organisms.  He should be grateful that we are keeping him alive.”  And just like that it was settled.

A few of the younger trees, although against their better judgment, hoisted the cannibal to the top of their most sacred mountain.  There rested the machine, its sleek walls shimmering in the glow of the lake of molten lava boiling nearby.  A smooth, pulsating breeze blew eerily through the young trees leaves.  It felt to them as though a thousand hairy caterpillars were crawling up their legs and tickling their very crevice.  The lava boiled louder and began to rise rapidly.  “The elders sense our delay!” yelled one of the trees.  They quickly lifted the cannibal into the machine and shut the hatch.

The machine began to hum and several different colored surges of static electricity licked the sides like a horse with cerebral palsy enjoying a block of salt.  After several tree minutes, the hatch opened and a heavy purple mist seeped out surrounding the trees.  Their tree muscles loosened and they felt as though they were sinking into a syrupy ocean of fruit scented foam soap.  Their throats tickled and the surrounding stars vibrated rapidly like epileptic children in a laser tag arena.

The trees awoke from a daze at the foot of the elders.  “You have done well, my children,” exclaimed the wisest elder in approval.  May your seeds grow roots that pierce the mold of long passed organisms.  As for the cannibal - he shall adapt well to his new life… ON EARTH!”

…to be continued